TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
