I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
