What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize