I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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