she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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