can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
