that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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