I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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