question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
