Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
