Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
