I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
