I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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