Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
