hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
