I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
They have beer where we have blood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
