I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
