Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  ; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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  (734); Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up http://tfl.nu/ecut
  Replies (4) Good night (1556) Bad night (557)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.

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  (803): I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide. http://tfl.nu/8cjy
  Replies (8) Good night (675) Bad night (1150)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  what's Bukake?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  a bad idea.

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  (513): what's Bukake? (1-513): a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/i91o
  Replies (31) Good night (1332) Bad night (2998)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (2095)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

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  (563): you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship? http://tfl.nu/nsqw
  Replies (37) Good night (9425) Bad night (1144)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5585) Bad night (804)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  or abortion recommendation cards.

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  (405): do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards? (405): or abortion recommendation cards. http://tfl.nu/knt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1194) Bad night (3275)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.

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  (330): I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life. http://tfl.nu/a68j
  Replies (13) Good night (854) Bad night (5220)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend

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  (480): i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ecxc
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (4857)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.

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  (502): So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut? (1-502): eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material. http://tfl.nu/j1ps
  Replies (19) Good night (4989) Bad night (1108)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Where else am I to apply my creativity?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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  (303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid
  Replies (5) Good night (3156) Bad night (838)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately

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  (716): I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately http://tfl.nu/htr3
  Replies (3) Good night (2463) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.

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  (347): She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina. http://tfl.nu/bvik
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.

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  (708): For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does. http://tfl.nu/ctyd
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (211)

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