He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase