Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

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  (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! http://tfl.nu/rxuv
  Replies (9) Good night (1093) Bad night (745)
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  (909): View more from California

  He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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  (909): He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me. http://tfl.nu/a0xa
  Replies (19) Good night (2397) Bad night (5997)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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  (252): OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD. http://tfl.nu/ob5y
  Replies (20) Good night (847) Bad night (4626)
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  (707): View more from California

  The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends

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  (707): The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends http://tfl.nu/16wy
  Replies (11) Good night (3390) Bad night (896)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

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  (307): I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real. http://tfl.nu/ype2
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (1188)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.

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  (561): I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company. http://tfl.nu/ywd5
  Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (1188)
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  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (534)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

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  (360): He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn http://tfl.nu/981u
  Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (544)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

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  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1489) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?

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  (302): Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak? http://tfl.nu/m53g
  Replies (15) Good night (1593) Bad night (456)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat

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  (814): If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat http://tfl.nu/6lrq
  Replies (5) Good night (952) Bad night (316)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends

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  (613): We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends http://tfl.nu/r2xw
  Replies (0) Good night (672) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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  (440): he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received. (440): he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick. http://tfl.nu/0dsn
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.

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  (708): I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples. http://tfl.nu/uuho
  Replies (3) Good night (339) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.

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  (604): Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break. http://tfl.nu/w4c5
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (256)

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