So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me