Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

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(559): I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great http://tfl.nu/r602

Replies (5) Good night (2754) Bad night (430)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

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(815): I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low http://tfl.nu/wg0q

Replies (24) Good night (764) Bad night (4205)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

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(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. http://tfl.nu/dim5

Replies (43) Good night (14127) Bad night (959)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.

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(814): We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad. http://tfl.nu/0kg4

Replies (82) Good night (30415) Bad night (2285)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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(978): she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head. http://tfl.nu/uhfs

Replies (7) Good night (4329) Bad night (999)
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(208): View more from Idaho

The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"

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(208): The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?" http://tfl.nu/toa2

Replies (17) Good night (7749) Bad night (1604)
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(406): View more from Montana

I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"

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(406): I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money" http://tfl.nu/7mg6

Replies (13) Good night (4969) Bad night (1216)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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(978): sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky http://tfl.nu/aofd

Replies (17) Good night (4554) Bad night (1068)
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(801): View more from Utah

I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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(801): I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine. http://tfl.nu/flen

Replies (6) Good night (3597) Bad night (789)
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(979): View more from Texas

She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?

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(979): She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low? http://tfl.nu/2el8

Replies (9) Good night (873) Bad night (1733)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT

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(618): Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT http://tfl.nu/hvg7

Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (420)
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(678): View more from Georgia

SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

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(678): SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE http://tfl.nu/551z

Replies (17) Good night (523) Bad night (2372)
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(678): View more from Georgia

No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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(678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv

Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (242)
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(347): View more from New York

My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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(347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2

Replies (4) Good night (1606) Bad night (263)
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(315): View more from New York

He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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(315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu

Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (188)

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