I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.