I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How many fucks given?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.