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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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• (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you want to do any of that?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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• (805): View more from California

  Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug

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