I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
