Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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