Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
