Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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