That's intense
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
