from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
