Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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