D3 body, D1 cock
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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