i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
