I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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