Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
