elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
