Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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