My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she looked like the before picture.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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