So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
