I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
