Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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