Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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