Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
