Whod you bang
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
