It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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