NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
