filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
