It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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