it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
