i jhust puked up my retainher.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
