cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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