I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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