This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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