I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
