i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a hot homeless man
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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