My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
