The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
