So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
