So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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