i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
