i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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