I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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