im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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