we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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