I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
