i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You are the jesus of drinking
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
