i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
