i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
