just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
