why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
