Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
too bad you live with your parents still
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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